Well, the new MacBook I have, did not necessarily directly cause this chain of thought I am currently engaged in, but nonetheless, it is there and I'm sure there is some sort of indirect correlation somewhere.
My thought is really very simple, and yet complex and has caused me to think quite hard about our society and the future for the human race. My thought is this: Can Science and Religion Coexist Harmoniously?
My answer would have to be a resounding no. Although the reason for this has nothing to do with the religion or the science, it is because of us, the great and bountiful Human Race. We take Religion and twist it to suit our own, selfish, personal needs, and to some extent we do the same with Science. So, if one person needs science to be a solid fact, never changing, never altering in its conclusions, and another needs there to be a god that will make sure we are safe, but to believe that we can chose and control our own fate, our own destiny and that things are always changing to suit this change in fate/destiny. These two people would most likely not be able to exist together in peace, because they need the world to mean different things, and they would not like someone else trying to change their perception of the world.
There are people who can believe in both a god and the changing facts of science. For some people the wondrous ability of Science to make us question what is going on around us, what goes on beneath he surface of something, it just reinforces their belief in god, of a higher power.
But even these people may never be able to live in a kind of peace with some other people, more extremists, people who believe so strongly in their religion or scientific field, that they believe that no one else's beliefs or opinions or values matter, that they are right and everyone else should agree with them.
It is because of the diverse nature of the Human Being, that we may never be able to accept both Science and religion together with the same importance and significance to the reality we live in.
That is my assesment of the situation at least.
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
At Jades House and Tired
I'm at my Jadey's house, and In The Night Garden has made me sooo Tired hehe.
So, My Grandad is here from Australia, and that's cool.
Not much else is really happening in my life. Nothing of interest to contribute.
Still in a fight with Charlie, who is now in a fight with Jadey and wants to be my friend suddenly. What a loser.
Yeah, that's it.
Bye then
xx
So, My Grandad is here from Australia, and that's cool.
Not much else is really happening in my life. Nothing of interest to contribute.
Still in a fight with Charlie, who is now in a fight with Jadey and wants to be my friend suddenly. What a loser.
Yeah, that's it.
Bye then
xx
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
My Lip Is Pierced. This is Just a stroy I posted to BMEzine...Just cause I can
I want to be just like my dad. One of the many reasons for my extensive list of tattoos and piercings I want. But, more importantly, I want to be my own person. Just my own person who is kind of like my dad.
It feels like I've always known I wanted my lip pierced, and, from the second the first came into my head, I wanted a side labret ring. Although, getting it wasn't going to be as easy as making my decision.
First, there was the obstacle of my mum. She's not over keen on facial piercings, which as I pointed out is slightly hypocritical of her seeing as how at one point she herself had her nose pierced. It turns out though, that all I had to do was threaten to stretch my ear instead and she was on board.
So, my parents were all for the piercing and I told them I was going to get it done at the beginning of the summer holidays, so it had time to heal before school started for year 11. I was ready, and I was going to get it done.
The summer holidays came so quickly, school was over quickly and soon forgotten, and only two weeks in, my dad, with some not so gentle encouragement from my mum, set a day. Wednesday the 29th. I counted down the days in my calender, crossing each one off before I fell asleep, this couldn't come soon enough for me. Then, boom, it was Wednesday the 29th.
My dad took me to three different tattoo shops and piercing studios, and he called another two, until Toni's said they'd be happy to do it. I was stoked. There had been a moment when I felt like telling my dad just to give up, that it wasn't meant to be, but it was going to happen, I was going to get exactly what I'd been waiting for weeks, months even, for.
We took the half an hour drive into Guildford and I was just listening to music, trying not to get nervous. But of course, my dad knows me better than he knows himself and he could see the worry in my eyes, even though it was barely there, being my dad, he felt it necessary to make jokes and take my mind off of it, as well as try and make me more worried of course. I wasn't without anxiety. All I could thing was that it was going to hurt, I'm going to cry and make an idiot of my self.
When we got there, I instantly loved Toni, he put me at ease and made me feel really good about the whole thing. He helped me pick out the perfect ring and positioned it exactly where I wanted it. There was no one there when we first got there, but more people did arrive, the first was a girl having her upper ear pierced, then two boys came in and one got his ear pierced, it was him that was in there when I sat down, he looked at me as if I was crazy. Of course, my dad wouldn't let up about the fact that I opted for a slight numbing before I was stabbed with he needle. It was slightly painful, but nothing I couldn't deal with. I just remember the coldness of the stuff Toni used to numb it.
Before I knew it, I was pierced. I got down off of the chair that looked exactly like the ones on doctors offices. And walked back out to where my dad was waiting. He just smiled at me. I'll always be a daddy's girl. Toni handed me the aftercare antiseptic and that stuff I used on my ears when I got them pierced. The exact same stuff. I really love the smell of it.
My dad, being the person he is, couldn't leave without buying something, so got himself a couple of new nipple rings, which is something I could have lived without. Especially as there were three people coming in for various ear piercings, who all looked at me and my dad strangely. Me because I had my lip pierced and dry blood all over my mouth, my dad because he was talking about nipples really loudly with Toni. But that's just fine with me.
My family are having trouble getting used to me now, they say I look really different, but I'm in love with it. Thanks to Toni, it's everything I wanted and more. Having my lip pierced has really made this a summer to remember. And I can't wait until I'm 18, I'll finally be able to stretch my ear and get those tattoos I have already planned in my head.
It feels like I've always known I wanted my lip pierced, and, from the second the first came into my head, I wanted a side labret ring. Although, getting it wasn't going to be as easy as making my decision.
First, there was the obstacle of my mum. She's not over keen on facial piercings, which as I pointed out is slightly hypocritical of her seeing as how at one point she herself had her nose pierced. It turns out though, that all I had to do was threaten to stretch my ear instead and she was on board.
So, my parents were all for the piercing and I told them I was going to get it done at the beginning of the summer holidays, so it had time to heal before school started for year 11. I was ready, and I was going to get it done.
The summer holidays came so quickly, school was over quickly and soon forgotten, and only two weeks in, my dad, with some not so gentle encouragement from my mum, set a day. Wednesday the 29th. I counted down the days in my calender, crossing each one off before I fell asleep, this couldn't come soon enough for me. Then, boom, it was Wednesday the 29th.
My dad took me to three different tattoo shops and piercing studios, and he called another two, until Toni's said they'd be happy to do it. I was stoked. There had been a moment when I felt like telling my dad just to give up, that it wasn't meant to be, but it was going to happen, I was going to get exactly what I'd been waiting for weeks, months even, for.
We took the half an hour drive into Guildford and I was just listening to music, trying not to get nervous. But of course, my dad knows me better than he knows himself and he could see the worry in my eyes, even though it was barely there, being my dad, he felt it necessary to make jokes and take my mind off of it, as well as try and make me more worried of course. I wasn't without anxiety. All I could thing was that it was going to hurt, I'm going to cry and make an idiot of my self.
When we got there, I instantly loved Toni, he put me at ease and made me feel really good about the whole thing. He helped me pick out the perfect ring and positioned it exactly where I wanted it. There was no one there when we first got there, but more people did arrive, the first was a girl having her upper ear pierced, then two boys came in and one got his ear pierced, it was him that was in there when I sat down, he looked at me as if I was crazy. Of course, my dad wouldn't let up about the fact that I opted for a slight numbing before I was stabbed with he needle. It was slightly painful, but nothing I couldn't deal with. I just remember the coldness of the stuff Toni used to numb it.
Before I knew it, I was pierced. I got down off of the chair that looked exactly like the ones on doctors offices. And walked back out to where my dad was waiting. He just smiled at me. I'll always be a daddy's girl. Toni handed me the aftercare antiseptic and that stuff I used on my ears when I got them pierced. The exact same stuff. I really love the smell of it.
My dad, being the person he is, couldn't leave without buying something, so got himself a couple of new nipple rings, which is something I could have lived without. Especially as there were three people coming in for various ear piercings, who all looked at me and my dad strangely. Me because I had my lip pierced and dry blood all over my mouth, my dad because he was talking about nipples really loudly with Toni. But that's just fine with me.
My family are having trouble getting used to me now, they say I look really different, but I'm in love with it. Thanks to Toni, it's everything I wanted and more. Having my lip pierced has really made this a summer to remember. And I can't wait until I'm 18, I'll finally be able to stretch my ear and get those tattoos I have already planned in my head.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Never Shout Never
OhEmGee.
I'm in love with the music by amazing songer/songwriter...Never Shout Never!!!
Done
I'm in love with the music by amazing songer/songwriter...Never Shout Never!!!
Done
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
I have teh internets!!
I managed to fix the internet in my room, so that's good. Just in time for Summer as well, so double cookie points for me.
That was really all I had to say =D
That was really all I had to say =D
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Girls Can Be So Bitchy...
I am in fact one of those girls.
Me and two of my friends are involved in one of the most upsetting fights of my life.
Charlie is so upset at me for something that is not my fault and should not even be upsetting her, seeing as how it has nothing to do with her. But she felt the need to be pathetic and ruin everyones weekend, because she wouldn't even look me in the eye, let alone talk to me about what was bothering her. She was acting like a two year old and ignoring me. She wouldn't even talk to anyone when I was near her.
I love her. I really do, forever and always. But right now I hate her. I hate for making me cry and I hate her for the fact that I did in fact try and talk to her, I tried to make it better and I spent a large portion of yesterday trying to figure what I could say to make her listen to me. But I realised there was nothing I could say, because she clearly doesn't want anything to do with me now. She made that perfectly clear.
So now, I'll proceed to spend the rest of my school days (which I do realise will be until I'm about 21) on my own and spending my weekends doing work and watching TV and on the Internet.
xxx
Me and two of my friends are involved in one of the most upsetting fights of my life.
Charlie is so upset at me for something that is not my fault and should not even be upsetting her, seeing as how it has nothing to do with her. But she felt the need to be pathetic and ruin everyones weekend, because she wouldn't even look me in the eye, let alone talk to me about what was bothering her. She was acting like a two year old and ignoring me. She wouldn't even talk to anyone when I was near her.
I love her. I really do, forever and always. But right now I hate her. I hate for making me cry and I hate her for the fact that I did in fact try and talk to her, I tried to make it better and I spent a large portion of yesterday trying to figure what I could say to make her listen to me. But I realised there was nothing I could say, because she clearly doesn't want anything to do with me now. She made that perfectly clear.
So now, I'll proceed to spend the rest of my school days (which I do realise will be until I'm about 21) on my own and spending my weekends doing work and watching TV and on the Internet.
xxx
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Why Is Life So Damn Confusing?
Cause it's...fun?
Jeez. Suckish or what?
Simplety. Is it too much to ask for??
Obviously. It's half two.
Too beat to type meaning.
Now it's not 2 30. it's twenty to ten.
Also fun.
Jeez. Suckish or what?
Simplety. Is it too much to ask for??
Obviously. It's half two.
Too beat to type meaning.
Now it's not 2 30. it's twenty to ten.
Also fun.
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Happy Days...
Kay, first thing's first.
Sitting there, a second too long,
Her face turned up in sneer,
I tell myself, to just be strong,
But in my heart, a pounding fear,
They’re not as good as I,
But still, my heart beats faster,
Before my eyes, start to cry,
I stand and run, my life – disaster,
I see the ones they talk about,
Blonde and pretty, so vein,
They get up, they go out,
Like the never ending social train,
Busy, busy, that’s all that they see,
I study and pass; they don’t, and fail,
One day, in a distant dream, I could be,
Successful, brilliant, for them, just a tale
I am strong, I can hold my own,
Only a few more years, I’ll be away,
University, a career, my own woman,
And where will they be, on that day?
So in the end, I know that I will win,
Maybe not yet, But I can wait,
Be strong, hold on, and wait to sing,
And then, I will be there, on that day.
I didn't write it by choice...necessarily.
My shrink made me.
Not like, she forced me at gunpoint, but like, she said, try writing a poem about being happy instead of the one's I usually write...about suicide and stuff.
Fun.
That was pretty much it actually.
I'm in tutor, not got a lot of time...
Again...fun.
I finished my business studies work, did an extra PowerPoint and still had extra time to read!!
I'm so epic!
Meg.
Sitting there, a second too long,
Her face turned up in sneer,
I tell myself, to just be strong,
But in my heart, a pounding fear,
They’re not as good as I,
But still, my heart beats faster,
Before my eyes, start to cry,
I stand and run, my life – disaster,
I see the ones they talk about,
Blonde and pretty, so vein,
They get up, they go out,
Like the never ending social train,
Busy, busy, that’s all that they see,
I study and pass; they don’t, and fail,
One day, in a distant dream, I could be,
Successful, brilliant, for them, just a tale
I am strong, I can hold my own,
Only a few more years, I’ll be away,
University, a career, my own woman,
And where will they be, on that day?
So in the end, I know that I will win,
Maybe not yet, But I can wait,
Be strong, hold on, and wait to sing,
And then, I will be there, on that day.
I didn't write it by choice...necessarily.
My shrink made me.
Not like, she forced me at gunpoint, but like, she said, try writing a poem about being happy instead of the one's I usually write...about suicide and stuff.
Fun.
That was pretty much it actually.
I'm in tutor, not got a lot of time...
Again...fun.
I finished my business studies work, did an extra PowerPoint and still had extra time to read!!
I'm so epic!
Meg.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Business Studies and The Over Booked Student Planner
I'm in Business Studies again.
I'm not messing around, per say, I have finished all my work...so that makes it okay...right??
Anyway, I am in Business Studies and freaking out about how hectic my schedule has become. And not in a , 'Oh wow you have so many friends and parties' Kinda way, in the 'Shit, How many exams and appointments and responsibilities do you have??' Kinda way.
Fun.
So.
Sports Day on Friday. I actually bothered to sign up for something...two things. What was I thinking??
Javelin and Long Jump. But, I'm going to try and Make my house proud. Ghandi all that way!!
Yeah, I'm in Ghandi house, it's all good. I'm not in Roosevelt or Churchill or Mandela, no, Ghandi...obviously.
I'm having a heart monitor fitted after school today, before I go see my shrink.
I'm waiting for the look on their faces when they look and see there is no heart =D
I'm not a consistent blogger, or vlogger or diary writer, but I try...that's the thing right?
Nevermind. No one reads it anyway...
I should go now. I have another hour and ten minutes in a lesson where I've actually done all the work. It seems redundant to me.
Cat xxx
I'm not messing around, per say, I have finished all my work...so that makes it okay...right??
Anyway, I am in Business Studies and freaking out about how hectic my schedule has become. And not in a , 'Oh wow you have so many friends and parties' Kinda way, in the 'Shit, How many exams and appointments and responsibilities do you have??' Kinda way.
Fun.
So.
Sports Day on Friday. I actually bothered to sign up for something...two things. What was I thinking??
Javelin and Long Jump. But, I'm going to try and Make my house proud. Ghandi all that way!!
Yeah, I'm in Ghandi house, it's all good. I'm not in Roosevelt or Churchill or Mandela, no, Ghandi...obviously.
I'm having a heart monitor fitted after school today, before I go see my shrink.
I'm waiting for the look on their faces when they look and see there is no heart =D
I'm not a consistent blogger, or vlogger or diary writer, but I try...that's the thing right?
Nevermind. No one reads it anyway...
I should go now. I have another hour and ten minutes in a lesson where I've actually done all the work. It seems redundant to me.
Cat xxx
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
the contest DFTBA street team
Ahhhhhh....
Yes, I need people to put their email address in a box and stuff (the green one in the corner...
I kinda wanna win...don't think it's gonna happen though...
xxx
Yes, I need people to put their email address in a box and stuff (the green one in the corner...
I kinda wanna win...don't think it's gonna happen though...
xxx
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Shout out to My Youtube Page,
I don't have very much to say. As I have mentioned not a lot actually happens in my life...sigh.
http://www.youtube.com/TheWayWeDie
My Youtube Page. Videos are currently yelling at me to upload them. I'll get around to it at some point...probably...Maybe.
hehe.
That is all.
http://www.youtube.com/TheWayWeDie
My Youtube Page. Videos are currently yelling at me to upload them. I'll get around to it at some point...probably...Maybe.
hehe.
That is all.
Friday, 1 May 2009
At School. How Awesome.
I'm posting this entry from school. Having to use FireFox just to get onto the site. Our school blocks the most random and unnecessary things. deviant Art, for example.
How Awesome.
So, I stayed up all night and then went for a run in the morning, then, being too hyped to sit still I acted on impulse and walked to school at 20 past 7. A full 40 minutes before I would usually leave in the car. How impulsive of me.
Paid off though, I got some random stuff done on my story. I'm not happy with the current chapter and wish I could just get rid of it. Unfortunately it's kind of important...well, it is to me...although just getting rid of it is not fully out of the picture yet =D
Writing comes so easily to me. Like nature, not even second nature, just nature. Now that's poetry (coincidentally something else that comes naturally to me).
I'm tired and in Business Studies with a teacher who doesn't teach and I#m feeling ill. Hoping it's not the Swine Flu/ZOmbie Virus. Interesting fact for you here. The swine flu strain that escaped from Mexico, it has the ability to kill people and then they become zombies after they die. Maybe I'm just saying that becasue I want to put our 'Zombie Attack Action Plan' into action, becasue it's so cool. In a weird way.
But that's me. Weird.
I've got about 9 minutes of babble time left and then it's off to Physical Education for me. How much fun. I hate Rounders.
Rounders thinks itt's baseball, but it Phails...
I'd rather do football or hockey or something I can actually like trying.
School sucks
Can't wait for Uni.
Double spacing Ahhhhhhh.
Did I mention tired?
Bored??
Ahhhhh????
Thanks anyhow
xxx Cat xxx
How Awesome.
So, I stayed up all night and then went for a run in the morning, then, being too hyped to sit still I acted on impulse and walked to school at 20 past 7. A full 40 minutes before I would usually leave in the car. How impulsive of me.
Paid off though, I got some random stuff done on my story. I'm not happy with the current chapter and wish I could just get rid of it. Unfortunately it's kind of important...well, it is to me...although just getting rid of it is not fully out of the picture yet =D
Writing comes so easily to me. Like nature, not even second nature, just nature. Now that's poetry (coincidentally something else that comes naturally to me).
I'm tired and in Business Studies with a teacher who doesn't teach and I#m feeling ill. Hoping it's not the Swine Flu/ZOmbie Virus. Interesting fact for you here. The swine flu strain that escaped from Mexico, it has the ability to kill people and then they become zombies after they die. Maybe I'm just saying that becasue I want to put our 'Zombie Attack Action Plan' into action, becasue it's so cool. In a weird way.
But that's me. Weird.
I've got about 9 minutes of babble time left and then it's off to Physical Education for me. How much fun. I hate Rounders.
Rounders thinks itt's baseball, but it Phails...
I'd rather do football or hockey or something I can actually like trying.
School sucks
Can't wait for Uni.
Double spacing Ahhhhhhh.
Did I mention tired?
Bored??
Ahhhhh????
Thanks anyhow
xxx Cat xxx
Saturday, 25 April 2009
It's all gone Pete Tong over here
So, I've got into this habbit of just lying down and watching TV and movies on my laptop and not even bothering to socialise...-sigh-
I've come to terms with the fact that I make myself sick.
And I give up
Bye =D
I've come to terms with the fact that I make myself sick.
And I give up
Bye =D
Friday, 10 April 2009
5:06 in the morning and I didn't sleep at all...
I'm wired actually. Totally wired. But that may be the Dr Pepper talking =D
I'm confused, I want to scream and cry and run in circles all at the same time.
Maybe I will later. Just for the hell of it.
I'm suffocating.
I haven't really been out at all over the Easter Holidays. It's 7 days in with 9 left to go and I'm scared this is the way my life has always been, and the way it will always be. Very scared.
I started to read Wuthering heights again last night, I'm only on chapter 8 so far, page 72. I love that books so much. One of my favourite classic novels. Among others.
My hands are orange and I have tanned streaks on my arms because my friend thought it would be funny to put tinted moisturiser on me while I was asleep. Now it's stuck on there and I have no idea how to get it off. I thought tinted moisturisers were supposed to build gradual tans? Not turn your hands orange. It's all over to, front and back. Urgh. Now I can't make fun of Ryan (Although he was tangoed all over =D)
I'll survive. Who cares anyway.
Although, sometimes I think if I cared more about how I looked people might notice me in a good way more often. Rather than just calling me an 'emo' bitch... Actually, someone even wrote 'emo' bitch on my maths book...oh yeah, that's right, someone wrote 'emo' I wrote Bitch...=D
Well I'm pretty much done. Off to watch more Lost!!
What an exciting life I lead
xxx
I'm confused, I want to scream and cry and run in circles all at the same time.
Maybe I will later. Just for the hell of it.
I'm suffocating.
I haven't really been out at all over the Easter Holidays. It's 7 days in with 9 left to go and I'm scared this is the way my life has always been, and the way it will always be. Very scared.
I started to read Wuthering heights again last night, I'm only on chapter 8 so far, page 72. I love that books so much. One of my favourite classic novels. Among others.
My hands are orange and I have tanned streaks on my arms because my friend thought it would be funny to put tinted moisturiser on me while I was asleep. Now it's stuck on there and I have no idea how to get it off. I thought tinted moisturisers were supposed to build gradual tans? Not turn your hands orange. It's all over to, front and back. Urgh. Now I can't make fun of Ryan (Although he was tangoed all over =D)
I'll survive. Who cares anyway.
Although, sometimes I think if I cared more about how I looked people might notice me in a good way more often. Rather than just calling me an 'emo' bitch... Actually, someone even wrote 'emo' bitch on my maths book...oh yeah, that's right, someone wrote 'emo' I wrote Bitch...=D
Well I'm pretty much done. Off to watch more Lost!!
What an exciting life I lead
xxx
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
More Episodes and Poverty...
So, still having episodes of total freakishness. That's the only way I can think to explain them...
I had a blood test, got the results today. They tooke 7 viles of my blood and the don't know what's wrong wiht me. So they took my blood for no reason other than to rule out a few things. Lovely.
Spring is here, the weather is warming up and everyone's going out more. Not me...but people. One thing that's really getting to me, is the fact I don't have any money to get clothes more appropriate for spring/summer. I don't think I have many items of clothing that didn't come from Asda or Tesco. I'm not a brand whore. I don't think some clothes are cooler just because they have a more expensive label. I do think, however, that some of the clothes they sell in Tesco is so ugly that it should be illegal, some of it is just so plain that it makes it just as bad. Okay, maybe I'm sounding like a spoiled Brat, but I'm not, it's just sometimes I think about how long I go between buying any new clothes and it makes me shudder. I am, in fact, still growing afterall. So it follows that I should get new clothes when I grow out of my old ones. This doesn't happen though and my wardrobe just keeps shrinking. My parents don't give me money for things like clothes from high street stores. As we're going shopping for food, I have to point out something I think looks reeally cool (actually, I just think it'll do) and if my mum's feeling generous she'll buy it for me. Usually it costs between £2.50 and around £10 (mostly that's for trousers). I felt like such a total loser today. My trousers are totally split and they've already been resewn at least once. I had to wear them though because the only other school trousers I have don't fit me.
Maybe this shouldn't affect me as much as it does. I dunno. All I know is that, I'm so highly emotional all the time, I feel like all my nerves are exposed and my brain is an open target for pain and anguish.
I'm Ill.
I'm Broken.
xxx
I had a blood test, got the results today. They tooke 7 viles of my blood and the don't know what's wrong wiht me. So they took my blood for no reason other than to rule out a few things. Lovely.
Spring is here, the weather is warming up and everyone's going out more. Not me...but people. One thing that's really getting to me, is the fact I don't have any money to get clothes more appropriate for spring/summer. I don't think I have many items of clothing that didn't come from Asda or Tesco. I'm not a brand whore. I don't think some clothes are cooler just because they have a more expensive label. I do think, however, that some of the clothes they sell in Tesco is so ugly that it should be illegal, some of it is just so plain that it makes it just as bad. Okay, maybe I'm sounding like a spoiled Brat, but I'm not, it's just sometimes I think about how long I go between buying any new clothes and it makes me shudder. I am, in fact, still growing afterall. So it follows that I should get new clothes when I grow out of my old ones. This doesn't happen though and my wardrobe just keeps shrinking. My parents don't give me money for things like clothes from high street stores. As we're going shopping for food, I have to point out something I think looks reeally cool (actually, I just think it'll do) and if my mum's feeling generous she'll buy it for me. Usually it costs between £2.50 and around £10 (mostly that's for trousers). I felt like such a total loser today. My trousers are totally split and they've already been resewn at least once. I had to wear them though because the only other school trousers I have don't fit me.
Maybe this shouldn't affect me as much as it does. I dunno. All I know is that, I'm so highly emotional all the time, I feel like all my nerves are exposed and my brain is an open target for pain and anguish.
I'm Ill.
I'm Broken.
xxx
Friday, 13 February 2009
New Hair
I have new Hair!!! I would describe it, but I'm leaving it as a surprise for all my friends when we go to the cineam Wednesday.
As for the info on wednesday, this is what's happening!!!!:
As for the info on wednesday, this is what's happening!!!!:
- we're going to see that Moonacre one =D
- We're meeting up at around 10:50 !!!
- We're gonna go into town after for food xxx
I'm going to be 15, But I feel like a three year old!!!
I'm sooooo happy!!!
-HappyCrazyLadyDance-
xxxCAT
Monday, 9 February 2009
Breakdown time!
I had a major breakdown this morning, I don't know what happened, I just flipped.
I was screaming and crying and rambling and acting weird. Maybe I'm crazy, not just depressed...maybe someone really should have me committed. Sometimes I think I'd like that, if they committed me...other times I just want to pretend I'm normal...which I'm not.
Do you ever feel that there's something missing from your life? Well, I think the main thing missing form my life...is a life. I'm like the living dead, I walk around in a half-sleep and just do things, sometimes I don't think I'm really feeling anything. Until I start to cry, and the tears are stinging my eyes and I realise that there's something human in me somewhere.
I came to a sudden realisation today (I didn't want to use the word epiphany), I actually like fixing other peoples problems, making other people happy even when I can't be. It's like I can change their lives, to go one way or another, my advice could cause catastrophe or mend their problems. I like that I can help them so majorly, without them realising it. Like I'm a guardian angel watching their backs and helping them through crisis.
If only my own problems were as easily solved.
I was screaming and crying and rambling and acting weird. Maybe I'm crazy, not just depressed...maybe someone really should have me committed. Sometimes I think I'd like that, if they committed me...other times I just want to pretend I'm normal...which I'm not.
Do you ever feel that there's something missing from your life? Well, I think the main thing missing form my life...is a life. I'm like the living dead, I walk around in a half-sleep and just do things, sometimes I don't think I'm really feeling anything. Until I start to cry, and the tears are stinging my eyes and I realise that there's something human in me somewhere.
I came to a sudden realisation today (I didn't want to use the word epiphany), I actually like fixing other peoples problems, making other people happy even when I can't be. It's like I can change their lives, to go one way or another, my advice could cause catastrophe or mend their problems. I like that I can help them so majorly, without them realising it. Like I'm a guardian angel watching their backs and helping them through crisis.
If only my own problems were as easily solved.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Sooo...
I'm sooooo tired, I'm finding it hard to sleep at night, so I'm falling asleep at four in the morning and getting up at nearly 2 in the afternoon....my life is getting too screwed up!
I don't know what else there is to say other than to moan about Valentine's day some more. But I'm too tired to do that....
I could whinge about how everyone's having fun without me, but that would appear selfish.
I could say how I'm totally desperate to find someone I can like that likes me back, but that would make me seem needy or dependent or something.
I could say how my crush on a straight friend is driving me insane, but people might think I'm over exaggerating.
I'm not any of those things....this is my life...welcome.
Catxxx
I don't know what else there is to say other than to moan about Valentine's day some more. But I'm too tired to do that....
I could whinge about how everyone's having fun without me, but that would appear selfish.
I could say how I'm totally desperate to find someone I can like that likes me back, but that would make me seem needy or dependent or something.
I could say how my crush on a straight friend is driving me insane, but people might think I'm over exaggerating.
I'm not any of those things....this is my life...welcome.
Catxxx
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
New Year, Same Old Me
Yes, it's 2009.
I have a cat!!!
His name is Bobby and he's one year old. I love him to pieces.
Although on a sliiight downer, I'm spiralling into that black mass of depression that constantly threatens to swallow me, and is now succeeding.
I suppose the fact that this Blog is so isolated form people lends me strength (half sarcasm, half truth).
I only have one confidante and I need him, like a life-support machine.
I don't know why I'm doing this, especially now at quarter past two in the morning. I have school tomorrow as well. Hehe.
My birthday in a little over two weeks, unfortunately, I have to survive Valentine's day first, which I might not. All things considered.
My Christmas was lovely thank you for asking. I got a new guitar, which I am slowly but surely managing to play =D
God, why am I pretending to be happy in my blog, it's not like there's anyone there.
Well Bye For now...x
I have a cat!!!
His name is Bobby and he's one year old. I love him to pieces.
Although on a sliiight downer, I'm spiralling into that black mass of depression that constantly threatens to swallow me, and is now succeeding.
I suppose the fact that this Blog is so isolated form people lends me strength (half sarcasm, half truth).
I only have one confidante and I need him, like a life-support machine.
I don't know why I'm doing this, especially now at quarter past two in the morning. I have school tomorrow as well. Hehe.
My birthday in a little over two weeks, unfortunately, I have to survive Valentine's day first, which I might not. All things considered.
My Christmas was lovely thank you for asking. I got a new guitar, which I am slowly but surely managing to play =D
God, why am I pretending to be happy in my blog, it's not like there's anyone there.
Well Bye For now...x
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