~MUSIC QUIZ OF DOOM~
1. Take your I-pod or mp3 player equivalent of one and put the music on SHUFFLE.
2. Write down the TITLE of the music down for each question. When one question is done, go on forward to another song. NO SKIPPING. THAT'S CHEATING, BUB.
3. TAG PEOPLE CUZ I SAY SO
1. What you will be in another life--> Changes by David Bowie (yh...that's weird...)
2. An excuse for why you forgot your homework--> You don't Know by Eminem (lolz, that's funny)
3. Your soulmate is--> Good Times from the Lost Boys soundtrack
4. When out in public, you randomly scream--> Walking down the Hill by Travis (yeah...okay then)
5. You were listening to this while running away from a large, rolling boulder.--> X-ecutioner style by Linkin Park (lolzness)
6. When you are married, the song that your first dance will be to is this--> Tangled by Maroon 5 (can I just say. How the heck did Maroon 5 get on my iPod...I don't like them...)
7. You confront a hobo on the street--> Trouble Sleeping by Corinne Bailey Rae (quite funny...lolz)
8. Your favorite character from any fandom kidnaps you. Your reaction is--> Weeping Willow by The Verve (I'm just going to say Willow, Buffy, Vampire Slayerage)
9. The area of a circle = Bionic by Placebo (yh, that circle is so cool)
10. If you have kids, they will be--> Giving In by Adema (lolz if only all kids would give in...)
11. How your friends feel when they see you at school --> Wake by Linkin Park (yh, that's cool. I wake my friends up :-))
12. In battle, your enemy is going to lose. What happens--> Sick Sad Little World by Incubus (Another pretty fitting one)
13. This is the complete opposite of you--> I want You Back by The Kooks (...not sure how that one would work...)
14. When you die, how will people feel? --> Shoot me Again by Metalica (that's the funnyness)
15. How are you feeling today? --> Open Up by Korn (..really?)
16. What does your shirt read? --> It's a Shame by Crash Test Dummies (Funnies)
17. When you find a dollar on the floor, what do you do with it? --> Smile by Westlife (now THAT is the ultimate)
18. CHINA IS ATTACKING! D8 --> On the Wagon by Green Day (yus...I'm leaving)
19. What goes through your mind when you see your true love/crush? --> Suicide Blonde by INXS (sure??)
20. WHAT ARE YOU CALLING THIS QUIZ? --> Rogues by Incubus
22. Did you like this quiz? --> Original Prankster by The Offspring (I's take that as a yes...)
23. What happened to #21? --> Children of The Korn by Korn (I take it they ate number 21...)
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Heartbreak City...
So, I went out with this girl. It lasted all of about a few hours. She couldn't handle it. I get where she's coming from. Still hurts.
Alex and Sam are still going steady, I'm really happy for them. Really, I am...
Jealous maybe...still happy they have eachother.
Seems that as we aproach Christmas more and more people are hooking up. Most of the girls are just in it for the gifts (yeah, they really are that petty), the guys are just too blind to see it.
People always hook up for Christmas and Valentines...makes me sick.
Jealous maybe...but still sick.
So in the middle of all the love-thick air, I might actually be drowning. Hope not. I rather not die without having taken even one GCSE.
And on the topic og GCSE's. I'm not in Triple Science yet, but I'm nearly there. I may just have to go and speak to Ms. Twyman myself, Simon asked for a transfer back into our tutor. That hasn't happened yet. They're being really slow.
Well anyway. That's about it.
Oh yeah. I may just have a crush on a girl at school. A staight girl.
Cat..x
Alex and Sam are still going steady, I'm really happy for them. Really, I am...
Jealous maybe...still happy they have eachother.
Seems that as we aproach Christmas more and more people are hooking up. Most of the girls are just in it for the gifts (yeah, they really are that petty), the guys are just too blind to see it.
People always hook up for Christmas and Valentines...makes me sick.
Jealous maybe...but still sick.
So in the middle of all the love-thick air, I might actually be drowning. Hope not. I rather not die without having taken even one GCSE.
And on the topic og GCSE's. I'm not in Triple Science yet, but I'm nearly there. I may just have to go and speak to Ms. Twyman myself, Simon asked for a transfer back into our tutor. That hasn't happened yet. They're being really slow.
Well anyway. That's about it.
Oh yeah. I may just have a crush on a girl at school. A staight girl.
Cat..x
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Deciding
I only just posted but I wanted to post again. I am kind of going to be using this as a kind of online diary. So I'll post when I damn well feel like it.
I'm reading this book. It's a really well known book called Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It's really good so far. My English Teacher said it was a hard read, but I don't think so. Does that make me ultimately weird. I mean, yeah I read Shakespeare and Jane Austen and authors like that for fun, but so do a lot of people. Sure most of them aren't fifteen year old girls from Bracknell-Chav-Town...But it's not that uncommon...Surely?
But really right now, I'm trying to decide what to do with my life. Because change is good. I need 'good'. So I need change. The only problem? I don't know how to change.
I've tried a million and one times, but I just can't do it. Sometimes I get half way there, sometimes I don't even make the half way mark, but every time I have failed.
I know I can't put it off any longer though. Pretty soon I might end up killing myself. I know there are lots of people who will look at my life and say 'her life isn't so bad, she has a house, a family, friends. I have it worse'. But I'm not those people. And the fact that I do have a house and family and friends makes it worse in some ways. I have a house, a falling apart house that is too small. I have a family, a large one with three brothers, one of them being a baby, I don't have much in common wiht any of my family, distant included. Yes. I do have friends, and being quite a socially awkward person really, that can be very hard at times. When I am out with them which is really rarely, I feel like a third wheel a lot...I'm just like that I guess.
Lots of people think their lives are hard when they're not, and maybe I am one of those people. But Depression can be passed on through genes and I think my dad blessed me with depression. Not that I can be sure of that but, hey. Life sucks. Let's at least try and Live with it. Although sometimes suicide seems the nicest way out of this.
I just want to be normal sometimes. Go out at the weekend and do normal things. I try to do that but most of the time it doesn't work very well. I want a boy/girlfriend like normal people. But that seems so hopeless for me. I'm ugly, not clever, not funny, I'm an emotional wreck, I can barely even make polite conversation with anyone, let alone go out with them on a regular basis. I'm actually unlovable.
Lovely.
xxxCat
I'm reading this book. It's a really well known book called Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It's really good so far. My English Teacher said it was a hard read, but I don't think so. Does that make me ultimately weird. I mean, yeah I read Shakespeare and Jane Austen and authors like that for fun, but so do a lot of people. Sure most of them aren't fifteen year old girls from Bracknell-Chav-Town...But it's not that uncommon...Surely?
But really right now, I'm trying to decide what to do with my life. Because change is good. I need 'good'. So I need change. The only problem? I don't know how to change.
I've tried a million and one times, but I just can't do it. Sometimes I get half way there, sometimes I don't even make the half way mark, but every time I have failed.
I know I can't put it off any longer though. Pretty soon I might end up killing myself. I know there are lots of people who will look at my life and say 'her life isn't so bad, she has a house, a family, friends. I have it worse'. But I'm not those people. And the fact that I do have a house and family and friends makes it worse in some ways. I have a house, a falling apart house that is too small. I have a family, a large one with three brothers, one of them being a baby, I don't have much in common wiht any of my family, distant included. Yes. I do have friends, and being quite a socially awkward person really, that can be very hard at times. When I am out with them which is really rarely, I feel like a third wheel a lot...I'm just like that I guess.
Lots of people think their lives are hard when they're not, and maybe I am one of those people. But Depression can be passed on through genes and I think my dad blessed me with depression. Not that I can be sure of that but, hey. Life sucks. Let's at least try and Live with it. Although sometimes suicide seems the nicest way out of this.
I just want to be normal sometimes. Go out at the weekend and do normal things. I try to do that but most of the time it doesn't work very well. I want a boy/girlfriend like normal people. But that seems so hopeless for me. I'm ugly, not clever, not funny, I'm an emotional wreck, I can barely even make polite conversation with anyone, let alone go out with them on a regular basis. I'm actually unlovable.
Lovely.
xxxCat
Why am I even here?
OKay so no one reads my blog. Who cares? OKay. Maybe I do. But no use crying over spilt milk right? Unless it was the last drop of milk in the bottle and you really wanted some milk. Seriously. All I want is a tiny glass of milk. Okay that is a metaphor. And it doesn't matter if you don't know what for. Well, I'll tell you anyway.
Since Sam and Alex decided to grow up and just go out with eachother already, I actually feel worse. No duh right? We went out to the cinema tonight. I didn't feel like a third wheel or anything. But I felt alone all the same.
I know I'm only fifteen. But then I'll be sixteen then seventeen, then pretty soon I'll be a forty-five year old who's never had a date. Yes I really am that undesirable.
So yeah, Sam ends up going out with someone that likes her back. While I don't even have enough self confidence to even fall for a guy/girl. Yeah, my life sucks.
So everyone's gonna end up talking about them as a couple and how super awesome that is. And I'll just be sat there. Alone.
I had this dream. I kinda turned into Sleeping beauty. Only I had to be woken by the kiss of my soul mate. Well the dream developed and it wasn't until Sam kissed my forhead as if admitting that I didn't have a soul mate and was going to stay asleep forever. That I woke up.
I think that's what I fear the most. That there is no one other than Sam that could ever love me.
I love Sam and everything. But I want a boyfriend or a girlfriend. A proper boyfriend or girlfriend. Better yet, I just want to be able to like a guy/girl. Yeah if that guy/girl liked me back it would be above coolness, but just to be able to like a guy/girl in the first place. Maybe my mum's right. Maybe I am incapable of love.
Since Sam and Alex decided to grow up and just go out with eachother already, I actually feel worse. No duh right? We went out to the cinema tonight. I didn't feel like a third wheel or anything. But I felt alone all the same.
I know I'm only fifteen. But then I'll be sixteen then seventeen, then pretty soon I'll be a forty-five year old who's never had a date. Yes I really am that undesirable.
So yeah, Sam ends up going out with someone that likes her back. While I don't even have enough self confidence to even fall for a guy/girl. Yeah, my life sucks.
So everyone's gonna end up talking about them as a couple and how super awesome that is. And I'll just be sat there. Alone.
I had this dream. I kinda turned into Sleeping beauty. Only I had to be woken by the kiss of my soul mate. Well the dream developed and it wasn't until Sam kissed my forhead as if admitting that I didn't have a soul mate and was going to stay asleep forever. That I woke up.
I think that's what I fear the most. That there is no one other than Sam that could ever love me.
I love Sam and everything. But I want a boyfriend or a girlfriend. A proper boyfriend or girlfriend. Better yet, I just want to be able to like a guy/girl. Yeah if that guy/girl liked me back it would be above coolness, but just to be able to like a guy/girl in the first place. Maybe my mum's right. Maybe I am incapable of love.
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