I had a major breakdown this morning, I don't know what happened, I just flipped.
I was screaming and crying and rambling and acting weird. Maybe I'm crazy, not just depressed...maybe someone really should have me committed. Sometimes I think I'd like that, if they committed me...other times I just want to pretend I'm normal...which I'm not.
Do you ever feel that there's something missing from your life? Well, I think the main thing missing form my life...is a life. I'm like the living dead, I walk around in a half-sleep and just do things, sometimes I don't think I'm really feeling anything. Until I start to cry, and the tears are stinging my eyes and I realise that there's something human in me somewhere.
I came to a sudden realisation today (I didn't want to use the word epiphany), I actually like fixing other peoples problems, making other people happy even when I can't be. It's like I can change their lives, to go one way or another, my advice could cause catastrophe or mend their problems. I like that I can help them so majorly, without them realising it. Like I'm a guardian angel watching their backs and helping them through crisis.
If only my own problems were as easily solved.
