The quiz I has to do...Twas funneh actually.

~MUSIC QUIZ OF DOOM~
1. Take your I-pod or mp3 player equivalent of one and put the music on SHUFFLE.
2. Write down the TITLE of the music down for each question. When one question is done, go on forward to another song. NO SKIPPING. THAT'S CHEATING, BUB.
3. TAG PEOPLE CUZ I SAY SO

1. What you will be in another life--> Changes by David Bowie (yh...that's weird...)

2. An excuse for why you forgot your homework--> You don't Know by Eminem (lolz, that's funny)

3. Your soulmate is--> Good Times from the Lost Boys soundtrack

4. When out in public, you randomly scream--> Walking down the Hill by Travis (yeah...okay then)

5. You were listening to this while running away from a large, rolling boulder.--> X-ecutioner style by Linkin Park (lolzness)

6. When you are married, the song that your first dance will be to is this--> Tangled by Maroon 5 (can I just say. How the heck did Maroon 5 get on my iPod...I don't like them...)

7. You confront a hobo on the street--> Trouble Sleeping by Corinne Bailey Rae (quite funny...lolz)

8. Your favorite character from any fandom kidnaps you. Your reaction is--> Weeping Willow by The Verve (I'm just going to say Willow, Buffy, Vampire Slayerage)

9. The area of a circle = Bionic by Placebo (yh, that circle is so cool)

10. If you have kids, they will be--> Giving In by Adema (lolz if only all kids would give in...)

11. How your friends feel when they see you at school --> Wake by Linkin Park (yh, that's cool. I wake my friends up :-))

12. In battle, your enemy is going to lose. What happens--> Sick Sad Little World by Incubus (Another pretty fitting one)

13. This is the complete opposite of you--> I want You Back by The Kooks (...not sure how that one would work...)

14. When you die, how will people feel? --> Shoot me Again by Metalica (that's the funnyness)

15. How are you feeling today? --> Open Up by Korn (..really?)

16. What does your shirt read? --> It's a Shame by Crash Test Dummies (Funnies)

17. When you find a dollar on the floor, what do you do with it? --> Smile by Westlife (now THAT is the ultimate)

18. CHINA IS ATTACKING! D8 --> On the Wagon by Green Day (yus...I'm leaving)

19. What goes through your mind when you see your true love/crush? --> Suicide Blonde by INXS (sure??)

20. WHAT ARE YOU CALLING THIS QUIZ? --> Rogues by Incubus

22. Did you like this quiz? --> Original Prankster by The Offspring (I's take that as a yes...)

23. What happened to #21? --> Children of The Korn by Korn (I take it they ate number 21...)

Heartbreak City...

So, I went out with this girl. It lasted all of about a few hours. She couldn't handle it. I get where she's coming from. Still hurts.

Alex and Sam are still going steady, I'm really happy for them. Really, I am...
Jealous maybe...still happy they have eachother.

Seems that as we aproach Christmas more and more people are hooking up. Most of the girls are just in it for the gifts (yeah, they really are that petty), the guys are just too blind to see it.
People always hook up for Christmas and Valentines...makes me sick.
Jealous maybe...but still sick.

So in the middle of all the love-thick air, I might actually be drowning. Hope not. I rather not die without having taken even one GCSE.

And on the topic og GCSE's. I'm not in Triple Science yet, but I'm nearly there. I may just have to go and speak to Ms. Twyman myself, Simon asked for a transfer back into our tutor. That hasn't happened yet. They're being really slow.

Well anyway. That's about it.

Oh yeah. I may just have a crush on a girl at school. A staight girl.

Cat..x

I edited the blog!!! Now it looks more awesome!!
And yes I am aware this will make my third post today wohoo!"!
How cool am I?...Yh I know...not very. Who cares? Not me.

Deciding

I only just posted but I wanted to post again. I am kind of going to be using this as a kind of online diary. So I'll post when I damn well feel like it.

I'm reading this book. It's a really well known book called Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It's really good so far. My English Teacher said it was a hard read, but I don't think so. Does that make me ultimately weird. I mean, yeah I read Shakespeare and Jane Austen and authors like that for fun, but so do a lot of people. Sure most of them aren't fifteen year old girls from Bracknell-Chav-Town...But it's not that uncommon...Surely?

But really right now, I'm trying to decide what to do with my life. Because change is good. I need 'good'. So I need change. The only problem? I don't know how to change.

I've tried a million and one times, but I just can't do it. Sometimes I get half way there, sometimes I don't even make the half way mark, but every time I have failed.

I know I can't put it off any longer though. Pretty soon I might end up killing myself. I know there are lots of people who will look at my life and say 'her life isn't so bad, she has a house, a family, friends. I have it worse'. But I'm not those people. And the fact that I do have a house and family and friends makes it worse in some ways. I have a house, a falling apart house that is too small. I have a family, a large one with three brothers, one of them being a baby, I don't have much in common wiht any of my family, distant included. Yes. I do have friends, and being quite a socially awkward person really, that can be very hard at times. When I am out with them which is really rarely, I feel like a third wheel a lot...I'm just like that I guess.

Lots of people think their lives are hard when they're not, and maybe I am one of those people. But Depression can be passed on through genes and I think my dad blessed me with depression. Not that I can be sure of that but, hey. Life sucks. Let's at least try and Live with it. Although sometimes suicide seems the nicest way out of this.

I just want to be normal sometimes. Go out at the weekend and do normal things. I try to do that but most of the time it doesn't work very well. I want a boy/girlfriend like normal people. But that seems so hopeless for me. I'm ugly, not clever, not funny, I'm an emotional wreck, I can barely even make polite conversation with anyone, let alone go out with them on a regular basis. I'm actually unlovable.

Lovely.
xxxCat

Why am I even here?

OKay so no one reads my blog. Who cares? OKay. Maybe I do. But no use crying over spilt milk right? Unless it was the last drop of milk in the bottle and you really wanted some milk. Seriously. All I want is a tiny glass of milk. Okay that is a metaphor. And it doesn't matter if you don't know what for. Well, I'll tell you anyway.
Since Sam and Alex decided to grow up and just go out with eachother already, I actually feel worse. No duh right? We went out to the cinema tonight. I didn't feel like a third wheel or anything. But I felt alone all the same.
I know I'm only fifteen. But then I'll be sixteen then seventeen, then pretty soon I'll be a forty-five year old who's never had a date. Yes I really am that undesirable.

So yeah, Sam ends up going out with someone that likes her back. While I don't even have enough self confidence to even fall for a guy/girl. Yeah, my life sucks.
So everyone's gonna end up talking about them as a couple and how super awesome that is. And I'll just be sat there. Alone.

I had this dream. I kinda turned into Sleeping beauty. Only I had to be woken by the kiss of my soul mate. Well the dream developed and it wasn't until Sam kissed my forhead as if admitting that I didn't have a soul mate and was going to stay asleep forever. That I woke up.
I think that's what I fear the most. That there is no one other than Sam that could ever love me.
I love Sam and everything. But I want a boyfriend or a girlfriend. A proper boyfriend or girlfriend. Better yet, I just want to be able to like a guy/girl. Yeah if that guy/girl liked me back it would be above coolness, but just to be able to like a guy/girl in the first place. Maybe my mum's right. Maybe I am incapable of love.

Long Time No Post and No visitors.

My dad took my computer apart and failed to put it back together again, so I am on another computer, which makes it harder to post regualarly.

Another thing I would like to say is that I am talking to no one. No one visits my blog so it does leave me questionaing what to do with this blog: leave it alone and don't post, keep posting or just delete my whole account.

I'd ask what you guys think...but there's no one there so it's just really pointless.

Once I decide what to do, I will post again.

My tutor must really hate me...

My weekend was lovely thank you for asking. But as for Monday...first proper week back at school didn't get off to the best start. To start with, my brother now wants to cycle to and from school, not that much of a big deal really, except that trying to get out of that school on a bike is pointless, the groups of students can get so big that trying to negotiate your way around them is futile. Next, I have Miss (Lewis) Jordan for science again, she's not a bad person but a decent teacher she isn't. We learnt the bare minimum from her last year and it took us a damn long time to do it. Then in PE (not a good subject on the best of days) we had a really bad substitute teacher. She was overly stressy and really didn't seem to like us. Thankfully that was interrupted by the fire drill.
After break I had Business Studies which was okay except for the fact that the only person I had to talk to was someone I don't really like...English was next and another horrid substitute teacher, she was loud and didn't seem to understand what we were supposed to be doing. The teacher we were supposed to have had a set a creative writing task witha a time limit. The sustitute, turned it into ntest conditions, which wasn't exactly the greatest news. The work was good though, I quite like creative writing. After lunch we had Business Studies again and in the middle of lesson, my tutor walks in (he's also head of Business Studies) and announces that we have a test on friday to determine what sets we're going to be in (1 or 2).
Oh Joy...
So now I'm overdosing on Jane Austen and eating grapes so adios.
Catxxx

School Sucx and You know it!

First day back at school was the 4th. Total suckishness. We went in at 10:30, only to go into a boringly-lame assembly followed by an hour of tutor. Speaking of tutors, mine sucx. Not a great start to the year really.
The only good thing about this year is that I know have more Drama and photography, I also have business studies whoo!! Unfortunately I don't have these classes with any of the BOA (except Jack in photography...lovely) so that'll be boring. Yes, it means I'll be able to concentrate on lessons, but it also means no fun...
So right now I'm listening to Pain by Three Days Grace, which is such an awesome song!
I should probably finish the couple of pieces of homework we got given, but I'm doing this instead, I tend to neglect my blog sometimes, I guess I just forget to post or can't be bothered or something, I dunno. I'm gonna try harder to post more often now so we'll just have to see how that one goes.
I've just had this EPIC MSN convo with Luci but now she's disappeared, must go and find her.
Cya's
Catty OUt
xxxCat

Reading madness!!

In Reading (pronounced reding) yesterday me, Luci, Josh and Simone were acting like complete retards! It was soo much fun!
Unfortunately today hasn't been so great. It's hot and uncomfortable and I has been bored and we has school tommorow..:-(

XXXCatxxx

Not as dying as I thought.

I went to the doctor's today and she told me apperently I'm not dying. Although now I have pills to take (urgh!) so that should be fun (sense the sarcasm).
Hmmm. What else to say?
Nothing reallllly. So I might post later.
BFN

xXx Cat XxX

I'm Dying!!!!

ARGH! I've been coughing like a...well...something that coughs alot for like a month now...no one cares. I'm going even more insane than usual, and it's not helped by the fact that no one visits my blog *cries* not even my muller light *looks at Luci with puppy dog eyes*...
I might actually have to die. Just to stop the coughing!!! HELP ME!!!!
Anywayzenhayzen (yes I actually do say tht out loud lol)
Catty out

xXx Cat XxX

Let me sleep!

Okay so it's half term and this is the time when I generally give up and sleep in until 11 and got to sleep at gone midnight, unfortunately, becasue of my mum's idea of a fun week is going out everyday, I've been going out all day, getting back at late o'clock, falling asleep and doing it all over again. These frequent excersions (sp?) means that my room is a mess-hole and my drama project has to be completed in a day.

The good news?
Me and Luci went to see Indiana Jones at the cinema with a whole group of people (Sean, Simon, Me, Luci, Josh and Adam) It was fuuun. until the cinema-guy gave me a really dirty look, you know the one that just screams 'I'm so tired of people like you staying in the theatre too long, you're just making my life soo difficult!'...but never mind. Huh, then when I was waiting for Sean's mum who gave me a lift as well as Josh and Sean, Sean chased Josh, then Josh thought it would be a good idea to act like a pillock and leap-frog over the bollard...unfortunately, he didn't get hurt.

Well that's all from me really.
x=X=x Cat X=x=X

Dedication

I'm going to re-dedicate myself to this blog. It's like a New Year's Resolution...in May.
So for my first post upon re-dedication I will precede(sp?) to rant about my suckish life with 3 brothers. Becasue take last week for example, if my mum is ill or busy and my dad's at work, I take on role of Nanny/Babysitter/Full-Time-BabyChaser. I must say, batheing, dressing and feeding a baby is harder than most people think, especially when said baby doesn't want to be bathed, dressed and fed :-(
He is however extreeemly cute for a baby...awww.

xXx Cat XxX