Why am I even here?

OKay so no one reads my blog. Who cares? OKay. Maybe I do. But no use crying over spilt milk right? Unless it was the last drop of milk in the bottle and you really wanted some milk. Seriously. All I want is a tiny glass of milk. Okay that is a metaphor. And it doesn't matter if you don't know what for. Well, I'll tell you anyway.
Since Sam and Alex decided to grow up and just go out with eachother already, I actually feel worse. No duh right? We went out to the cinema tonight. I didn't feel like a third wheel or anything. But I felt alone all the same.
I know I'm only fifteen. But then I'll be sixteen then seventeen, then pretty soon I'll be a forty-five year old who's never had a date. Yes I really am that undesirable.

So yeah, Sam ends up going out with someone that likes her back. While I don't even have enough self confidence to even fall for a guy/girl. Yeah, my life sucks.
So everyone's gonna end up talking about them as a couple and how super awesome that is. And I'll just be sat there. Alone.

I had this dream. I kinda turned into Sleeping beauty. Only I had to be woken by the kiss of my soul mate. Well the dream developed and it wasn't until Sam kissed my forhead as if admitting that I didn't have a soul mate and was going to stay asleep forever. That I woke up.
I think that's what I fear the most. That there is no one other than Sam that could ever love me.
I love Sam and everything. But I want a boyfriend or a girlfriend. A proper boyfriend or girlfriend. Better yet, I just want to be able to like a guy/girl. Yeah if that guy/girl liked me back it would be above coolness, but just to be able to like a guy/girl in the first place. Maybe my mum's right. Maybe I am incapable of love.